Toad
08-25-2006, 02:17 PM
Political Science for Dummies <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
<TABLE class=MsoNormalTable style="MARGIN-LEFT: 39.75pt; WIDTH: 100%" cellSpacing=8 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>DEMOCRATIC <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>REPUBLICAN <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So? <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>SOCIALIST <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>COMMUNIST <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>AMERICAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>FRENCH CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>JAPANESE CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>GERMAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>ITALIAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>RUSSIAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>TALIBAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have all the cows in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><ST1:COUNTRY-REGION u1:st="on"><ST1:PLACE u1:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region></ST1:COUNTRY-REGION></ST1:PLACE>, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the <ST1:COUNTRY-REGION u1:st="on"><ST1:PLACE u1:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">US</st1:place></st1:country-region></ST1:COUNTRY-REGION></ST1:PLACE> government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>IRAQI CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>POLISH CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>BELGIAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>FLORIDA CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>CALIFORNIA CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have millions of cows.
They make real <ST1:STATE u1:st="on"><ST1:PLACE u1:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:State w:st="on">California</st1:place></st1:State></ST1:STATE></ST1:PLACE> cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
<ST1:CITY u1:st="on"><ST1:PLACE u1:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Arnold</st1:place></st1:City></ST1:CITY></ST1:PLACE> likes the ones with the big udders
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Smoke1 Smoke1
<o:p> </o:p>
<TABLE class=MsoNormalTable style="MARGIN-LEFT: 39.75pt; WIDTH: 100%" cellSpacing=8 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>DEMOCRATIC <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>REPUBLICAN <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So? <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>SOCIALIST <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>COMMUNIST <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>AMERICAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>FRENCH CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>JAPANESE CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>GERMAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>ITALIAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>RUSSIAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>TALIBAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have all the cows in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><ST1:COUNTRY-REGION u1:st="on"><ST1:PLACE u1:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region></ST1:COUNTRY-REGION></ST1:PLACE>, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the <ST1:COUNTRY-REGION u1:st="on"><ST1:PLACE u1:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">US</st1:place></st1:country-region></ST1:COUNTRY-REGION></ST1:PLACE> government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>IRAQI CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>POLISH CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>BELGIAN CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.<o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>FLORIDA CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow. <o:p></o:p>
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: blue 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 22.38%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="22%" bgColor=blue>CALIFORNIA CORPORATION <o:p></o:p>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 7.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; BACKGROUND: #bfc1ff 50% 0%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 7.5pt; WIDTH: 76.72%; PADDING-TOP: 7.5pt" width="76%" bgColor=#bfc1ff>You have millions of cows.
They make real <ST1:STATE u1:st="on"><ST1:PLACE u1:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:State w:st="on">California</st1:place></st1:State></ST1:STATE></ST1:PLACE> cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
<ST1:CITY u1:st="on"><ST1:PLACE u1:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Arnold</st1:place></st1:City></ST1:CITY></ST1:PLACE> likes the ones with the big udders
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